This week has been a particularly trying week. The pain clinic is failing me miserably. That’s for another post. Over the years I’ve written a lot of prose and poetry, fiction and nonfiction, to get me through the hard times. I don’t know when I wrote them, or what I was feeling at the time I wrote it, but I put in on the computer in 2006 while I was in corps training for Correctional Officer. The pain was terrible then, but I was young and fit and I could stave it off most of the time. Here’s something from that time.

Sand In My Eyes

It is so cold this morning

Do I really want to deal with the day?

Not really

I think I’ll hit rewind

 

Exhausted today

Dragging

Feel like I’m moving through water

So cold, too

 

It feels like I have sand in my eyes

Scratching, bleeding

Burning, tears streaming down my face

Can’t see what’s ahead of me

 

Stumbling around lost

Must be an escape somewhere

I just can’t seem to find it

I keep running headlong into everything

 

Aimlessly solving life’s little puzzles

Hitting dead end after dead end

Am I that bad at this?

Or does someone keep moving the way out?

 

– Darcy McCurdy